Just a little rant: I’m frustrated beyond reason

I'm so frustrated I could scream, I could cry, I could pitch a monumental fit... oh wait, I did that last night in the confines of the shower where the kid couldn't see me having a breakdown.

Really, this apartment hunting crap is getting old, it’s getting frustrating and it’s wearing me down to the point where if my kid wasn’t going to an excellent school I would pack our stuff up and move out of NY. I’ve seriously just had it. I’m tired of living in someone’s basement. Within the next few months my kid’s not going to be able to even walk through the doorway without smacking his head on the door jamb. Yea, he’s really that tall.

I went to see an apartment this past Friday with a broker (which I really didn’t want to do because that extra months rent is something I really need to save, but lately seems my only option).  The apartment was OK... it had a nice size living space and the bedroom was big.  It was on the 1st floor and had lots of light, but it had no kitchen space:  Sink/stove/fridge, one foot of counter space and three cabinets.  More importantly, I didn’t like the neighborhood. I called the broker yesterday and said I liked the apartment but I wasn’t going to take it. It just wasn’t in the neighborhood I wanted to be in. She was nice and agreed that the neighborhood wasn’t so great but went on to tell me that people are unwilling to rent to two people for what I could afford.  Hello, this is MY KID not my husband. Shit! What am I supposed to do? Make my kid get a job and have him help me with the rent? No. He’s not even legal to work yet and I’m not about to have my kid helping me pay the rent.

 People are greedy with rents in my area and there’s no F’n way I’m going to give someone $1,100 to live in their basement even if I could afford it. Not.gonna.happen. No wonder so many people are moving out of NY. It’s almost impossible to make a living here on an average salary and survive. I don’t have someone to help me with the rent, I don’t have any supplemental income other than what I make working and I’m not about to go to the county for help either thankyouverymuch.  

So what do I do? Pray for a miracle? Pray I win the lottery? Pray my boss stops being a tightwad and pays me the salary I deserve? Well.. Yes and no.. But I have to just keep truckin’ Keep looking and keep hoping that I find the apartment that I need with the right amount of space for the kid and myself.

I mentioned last week on Twitter that I’m tired of my job. Granted I really do enjoy what I do, but I've lost my passion for what I do here and I really want to get back into cooking professionally.